"You Know The World Could Be Your Oyster" Part Two: Oysterband and Great Big Sea At Hugh's Room (Videos And Sort-Of Photos), An Unforgettable Evening

ETA: Shame on me for forgetting to put this in the first go-round because it really was something cool that deserved better recall. Good enough last night during the hockey when the Newfoundland & Labrador Tourism commercial came on and Ordinary Day was to be heard for the first time; best of all was when the song was heard again, this time in a commercial for the Hockey Hall Of Fame. Whoever negotiated that deal deserves a pat on the back because it is an excellent example of the perfect PR deal: Being connected to the HHOF makes Great Big Sea look good and being connected to GBS makes the Hockey Hall Of Fame look good. It's a match made in Advertising Heaven. And it made me hoot so loudly with delight that I think the people in the next room - also watching the game, and presumably the commercial too - must have wondered what the heck was going on next door.

On a much less laudable note, I also forgot to mention that last night we saw a couple originally seated near our table buy the seats right out from under two people sitting up at stage edge at Hugh's. Were they diehard Oyster fans wanting to get close to a band they'd been waiting years to see? Not too likely, given how Alan almost never got himself free of the missus post-show. I'm beginning to wonder if this trend of relying on hard, cold cash to make one's way Nearer My GBS To Thee is something new, or is it just that I'm paying closer attention?

Overall, it truly was an unforgettable evening at Hugh's Room last night. It's not all that often I wind up having to wait nearly six years to see a band I've come to love play live, so the sweet satisfaction of the moment caught me a bit by surprise. I've been casting about since last night trying to come up with one word to describe Oysterband, and though it still does not do them full justice, so far what keeps coming to mind is "masterful": Oysterband is a complete and impeccable work of art - sterling songwriting quality (lyrics, melody lines, chord progressions included), rich and varied vocals backed up by smoothly blended harmonies, a musicianship that is simultaneously precise and relaxed, excellent stage presence, and maybe most striking of all, they come across as being unflappably comfortable with who they are, with one another, and with what they are doing.

About the only thing that might have made the night even better than it was would have been to be able to see Oysterband playing in front of "their" crowd. While most of those at Hugh's started out attentively polite and wound up thoroughly persuaded by the final song, still, I'd love to see this band walk out onto a stage and be greeted from the outset by the already-persuaded who show them the enthusiasm and respect they so richly deserve. Which is not to say that I did not find it thoroughly pleasurable to observe that process of persuasion taking place last night; it was a bit like watching a successful act of seduction occur. And the folks at Hugh's appeared to be enjoying every moment of being so seduced.

And while there was also the inevitable show-after-the-show there for the observing - rather like attending the umpteenth performance of some been-running-for-decades Broadway play (Tonight, the role of Grizabella will be played by _______ ) - the appeal of that predictable setpiece paled considerably when compared to having an intelligent and thought-provoking conversation with someone I really have missed talking to and to receiving a revealing and even-more-thought-provoking double-edged (as well as partial) answer to a question that's been on my  mind for the past month or so. Both the conversation and most especially the answer have engendered yet more questions, of course, which is to say that both have made me think, and think hard - my very own definition of "being made happy" by GBS, I suppose.  I hope it was good for them too; I especially hope they got to spend as much time with the Oysterband fellows as they'd wanted. 

 

Setlist from Oysterband show at Hugh's:

First Set
Over The Water
Be Good, Be Lucky
Where The World Divides
Walking Down The Road
Street Of Dreams
Here Comes The Flood
Polkas/Ceili Tunes
Bury Me Standing
The Deserter

Second Set
Native Son
By Northern Lights
Uncommercial Song
Oxford Girl
Be My Luck
John Barleycorn
Just One Life
Dancing As Fast As I Can
Road To Santiago
Granite Years

Encores
World Turned Upside Down/Give Peace A Chance (Get Out Of Iraq)
Put Out The Lights
When I'm Up I Can't Get Down/Bright Morning Star (with Great Big Sea)

Videos:

This song is one of my favourites from the new Oysterband CD, Meet You There, because of its wryly-edged lyrics and the well-pounded guitar part that reminds me of the fast hands/strong wrists style of another guitar-pounder whose work I admire.

Here Comes The Flood, Oysterband, Hugh's Room, Toronto, April 2008       (220 MB)

Socialism's orphan child
Unimpressed, unreconcilled
Some people think I'm crazy, but I'm  not
Here comes the flood.

An achingly vulnerable version of a haunted song that makes it all the more haunting:

Oxford Girl (acoustic), Oysterband, Hugh's Room, Toronto, April 2008       (205 MB)

I never had a chance to prove them wrong
My time was short, the story long
No I never had a chance to prove them wrong
It's always them that write the song.

The song off the new CD that has laid its claim on me is Dancing As Fast As I Can, which closely approaches my definition of a perfect song - sound and sense locked in tight embrace with truth. And from the first time I heard it, every time since that I have heard it, it strikes me as the song I'd have wanted to write about Alan, if I were a songwriter.  I was so lost in that same thought as they began to play the song at this show that I forgot to start the video till partway through.

Dancing As Fast As I Can (partial), Oysterband, Hugh's Room, Toronto, April 2008       (150MB)

You can trust in power the music,
You can trust in the power of prayer,
But it's all in white of your knuckles
That's keepin' this plane in the air.
I got scar tissue, I got cash in hand
Got a season ticket to the Promised Land
And I do this for a livin', mister, don't you understand?
And I'm dancing, dancing, dancing as fast as I can.

Performed off-mic and at stage-edge (which, given the size of the stage at Hugh's, means " performed in the midst of the audience"), this made for a beautiful and moving close to the main set.

Put Out The Lights (off-mic), Oysterband, Hugh's Room, Toronto, April 2008      (295 MB)

Every place that I have been
Leaves its message on the skin
So many prophecies and signs
So little time, so little time.

And then, once again, the two encore songs with GBS, pure delight witnessing pure delight. Even with the distance, the darkness, and the wobble, it's clear to see how excited the men of GBS were to take the stage with Oysterband, and being able to see their enjoyment would have all by itself made the trip to Hugh's worth it. How excellent and grand that there would also be so much more.

When I'm Up/Bright Morning Star, Oysterband & Great Big Sea, Hugh's Room, Toronto, April 2008      (400 MB)

Exaltation,
Sweet disintegration,
A few discolourations
When it comes on strong;
Up is what he chooses,
The kisses and the bruises;
There's nothing he refuses
When it comes along.
It comes along,
And I am lifted;
I am lifted, I am lifted.

Photos (well, sort of):

When the fellow who does the intros at Hugh's (I think of him as Sea Captain Hugh because of that hat he's been wearing each time I've seen him) requested at the outset that flash photos be limited to the first two songs, that surprised me since I'd been told by those better informed than I that John Jones has a serious dislike for any and all flash photography. Perhaps they were trying to be accommodating to a crowd largely comprised of people seeing them live for the first time. Kind of shame how many lacked the courtesy to abide by the two-song limit; flashes were going off intermittently throughout the entirety of show, for all the good they might have done. Hugh's is a dark venue, and I was far enough back for flash to be of little use. The few photos I did take wound up decidedly sub-par - it was definitely more a night for video, anyway - but here are a just few of the least shitty:

Oysterband, left to right:  Ian Telfer, fiddle; Dil Davies, drums; Chopper, bass and (glorious) cello; John Jones, lead vocals and occasional accordion; Alan Prosser, guitar.

John Jones is a particularly powerful performer, and I'm hoping that the lighting at the Vancouver show will make it possible to get  a decent set of (nonflash) photos that show some of that power, though the videos do a good job at that, with the definite plus of making it possible to hear how wonderful the band sounds. After waiting six years for the first time, it's with a sense of delicious anticipation that I look forward to doing it all again in just a bit more than a week. As always, there are some things wonderful enough to be worth waiting for.

I wonder how long the wait  might be to see  GBS open for the Oysters on a European tour...and then see that bill reversed in North America.  What a splendid time that would be.

Comments

[Stephen]

I like your tour idea. Two intelligent bands on tour together is good news on any continent. After watching the videos I'm starting to wish I could go to the Van show but I'm booked for a conference all weekend. Yuck. Oxford Girl is chilling. They're really a good band and it makes me wonder how many other really good bands have been out there for years that I might never hear. It's like all the books you know you'll never read.

It sounds like you did good dealing with the inevitable fan show. I hope that's how it really went and you're not putting on a good show of your own. I'll weigh in on the Twitter topic and say I felt a little disappointed to see Sean taking part in something like that but I suspect I'm being unfair to him by feeling that way but I haven't figured out why yet. Physician, examine thyself is easier to say than do.

[M]

"Nearer My GBS to Thee" made me snerk out loud :)

[Christina]

Alan and Sean are right, Oysterband rocks. I've had "Put Out the Lights" in my head all day- what a beautiful song. Definitely, absolutely worth the travel to see.

It's great that the men of GBS had the opportunity to see and perform with them as well, especially since it doesn't sound like they are having much fun with their photo/videoshoot. Sean's "twittering" sounds like he's bored out of his tree.

[Ellen]

Is that really how you see Alan? They are such beautiful lyrics but they're so sad. It sounds like you had a chance to ask him your questions, Lynda. Did you manage to hold it to four words? :)

Thank you for the videos. I don't guess I'll ever see this band live but I did enjoy listening and seeing. I loved the one with GBS, of course!

Hugs,

Ellen

[lynda]

Yes, Ellen, that's how I see Alan, not all of who he is, of course, but a fundamental part of him. I don't hear those lyrics so much as being sad, though, not primarily, at least; I'd go more with poignant, resolute, self-aware, wistful. I see him in that song in the same way I see him in Wave Over Wave, as well as in such songs of his own as Tonight and Boston. For that matter, Straight To Hell as well, though the tone is quite different.

Yes and no on the questions. I did manage to ask the one that's been on my mind recently, so that was three words out of the four. I did get an answer, too, more or less what I call an "iceberg answer," the kind of answer where what's said is only a small percentage of what is left unsaid beneath the surface of those spoken words. Only fair, since it really was a huge question and not the easiest to answer at all in such circumstances. But an answer it was, albeit one that leaves me still wanting to pursue the matter further.

No, on the second question, the one that's been waiting for such a long time to be asked, long enough for me to get it down to that single word. That one remains both unasked and unanswered, partly because it really was neither the time nor the place for such a question - it would have been a bit like trying to talk seriously about the delights of gourmet cooking while standing in the midst of a MacDonald's line - but maybe even more because I still seem to lack the strength of backbone to ask it...perhaps I could benefit from doing some pilates.

The newer question was easier to ask, huge as it may have been, because it was the most altruistic, the least personally exposing, and I guess most of all because I just couldn't hold back from asking any longer. Other than winding up in that semi-mythical perfect place at the highly-unlikely perfect time, it will probably be the same with the question that's waited so long to be asked...it will pop out when I can no longer hold it in. That, and when I manage to locate my backbone.

I'm glad you enjoyed the videos, Ellen, and I hope very much that the day will come that you do get to see Oysterband in your town. GBS has done pretty well there, and I think the Oysterband would too...imagine how great it would be to see them both together.

I'm sure happy it worked out for them to be at that show during their otherwise-working weekend, Christina. No, not much of the work part sounds like fun. I grew up watching filming take place, and the snail's-pace of it all seems like it would have to be mind-numbing to those who wind up doing way more waiting than actual filming. I'm still wondering how that location they used is going to fit in with Walk On The Moon (it's been officially blabbed about on the GBS site, so no need for me to exercise any restraint). There's one sure advantage to the whole Twitter thing - it can alleviate some of the boredom, for a few minutes at least.

I loved Sean's recent comment about having had his way with a Large Leo's Fee & Chee w. Gee but the one that really caught my eye was the one about bellies being sucked in at the photo shoot. Dangerous terrain for me to be responding to any comment that involves Alan and has the words "belly" and "suck" in it, dangerous in terms of my risk of wandering off to a completely different topic altogether (though the photo-shoot setting could still fit in quite well with that new topic). So I will exercise a bit of self-discipline and simply say that Alan for sure looked eminently video-filming-worthy and photo-shoot-worthy to me. He looked good, frigging good. I can't offer much of an opinion on the others since I didn't see much of Sean up close and pretty much just saw Bob from the back, though I will say that Bob's looking like he might be working out...I could see the muscles in his back knotting up even through his jacket.

Hello, M. I am always glad to play a role in snerk-engendering. I'm also glad you were familiar with the reference; it's been long enough since I was much of a church-goer that I wasn't sure how much if at all that one got sung anymore.

Stephen, while I personally would be ecstatic with that lineup anywhere and everywhere (and David would think he had died and gone to heaven), realistically speaking, I think it would be a fabulous tour pairing in Europe, because the Oysterband fans would be able to accept GBS for who they are and what their music is. I'm (reluctantly) less confident in a large number GBS fans being willing (or even able) to do the same with Oysterband, somewhat dependent, I suppose, on how much of who they are and what their music is about that Oysterband might or might not reveal to a GBS-fan-dominant crowd. "Make me happy" isn't really what Oysterband is about, at least not the version of happy that's most often expected from GBS. But there are plenty of us who wind up loving both bands, so who knows? It could be splendid.

I wish you could make it to the Vancouver show too. We were talking today about maybe finding a way to get to Kelowna too, but I doubt that's going to work out. The version of Oxford Girl I have on the video is quite different from how it's done on the CD, very good in the original form but breathtaking how they did it at Hugh's.

I know what you mean about all of the music and books that we'll never discover, along with the wonderful new places that will remain unseen and fascinating people not met. Another way in which life is too short. The only way I can think to deal with it is to seek out and take delight in all that we can make the time for, while that time is ours.

I did OK with the fan stuff, better than I'd thought I might do. It was no trouble at all during the show since I didn't notice anything at all off of that stage. Afterwards, it felt a bit like moving away from looking at it up close and specific to the present moment and more like seeing it instead as one more point along a spectrum of time; the photographic metaphor in my head at the time was all about focal lengths and depth of field. Watching the post-show show play itself out, I kept thinking of the thousands of nights which have probably been more or less exactly like this one for these men - and for the Oysterband men, as well as for so many others like them - and about some of the likely effects and impacts of that endless repetition.

Right now, the thought that's lingering the longest is the one about being touched by God knows how many people who take advantage of your not really being able to say "No" to being grabbed and pawed by them, people who are basically strangers hugging and kissing and hanging on you and greedily using your inability to refuse them as a way to make themselves feel like they are (and maybe as much or more, to make themselves appear to be) something to you that they are not, to feel like or to appear as if they share an intimacy with you that does not in truth exist.

I had a interesting (and ultimately unforgettable) conversation with an up-and-coming young musician about that topic a long, long time ago (that phrase used very much in the Don McLean sense), during which he was being grabbed and pawed and hugged and hung upon by a series of such people all the while we were talking about it. What he told me was that it was part of the job and you had to learn how to stop seeing being touched as having any meaning connected to it...that was how you deal with not having a say in who does what to your body. He told me he had a handle on all of this rock-star shit and he didn't let much of anything get to the Real Him and his Real Life beneath and beyond it all.

I had a hard time believing him at the time. Belief became permanently impossible when he killed himself a several years later. I found myself wondering if maybe he'd gotten to the point where being touched stopped having any meaning connected to it for the Real Him in his Real Life too.

Not the easiest of thoughts to be thinking, nor the most reassuring of memories to be recalling, while you're watching someone you care about make his own way in the rock-star world, but way the hell more honest and pertinent than hiding behind being appalled or indignant. And, at the end of the day....though much is taken, much abides & that which we are, we are. Lord Alfred might have been a pompous old fart, but he did write some great poetry; those closing lines of Ulysses remind me of Alan, and of GBS, too.

Physician, if you can accept a layman's diagnosis, I'm going to suggest that at least a part of your disappointment about Sean's Twitter-ing is that you (and quite a few others) have somewhat of an investment in thinking him "too cool for that sort of fan-appeasing nonsense" (quoting a commenter who asked to remain private).

And, yes, I do think that's being unfair to Sean. In the first place, fan-appeasing nonsense really is part and parcel of his job, and it's better for Alan (and for Bob) if all of them are carrying their rightful share of that job responsibility. In the second place, I still think Sean's "Twitter Voice" is quite sweet and endearing, often quite clever and witty too, the combination of which is not at all easy to accomplish given the format's length limitations. But perhaps my perspective is a bit skewed by my succinctness envy.

[Mari]

I always have a hard time believing you when you say you 're afraid to do anything. Except for the claustro but that's irrational fear you can't control. You seem like you control rational fear well enough.

What the guy said about touching not meaning anything any more sounds like a big red flag to be scared. It turns out it was too. I don't think I could handle being famous. I think I want it some time with acting but then I don't know. You pay a lot for what you get.

If Sean gets sick of twittering he could hand over the job to Tosh who's one wild dude. ;)

Would you consider putting up the audio of the GBS and Oyster video? I can't get it to download on my connection and I really want to hear it if I can't see it.

[Laura]

New single alert! WOTM is up on the gbs site and myspace too. :D It sounds luverly. Now I wanna hear The Rocks Of Merasheem.

You really ought to ban some people from this blog altogether.

L.

[Stephen]

I'll take two aspirin and call you in the morning. The nail went in true about Sean. I've gotten my share of vicarious satisfaction from his Joe Cool attitude. How dare that mirror show such a schmuck? You know, it's always been there in the songs he writes, not very Joe Cool.

I think GBS and Oysterband would work here. I don't know about Canada but here it would, though the big crowds would be in Canada so it might have to work there. Trust in the power of the music, o ye of little faith.

[lynda]

Thank you very much for the newsflash, Laura. I've got Walk On The Moon downloaded and have been listening to it between periods in the hockey games tonight (not a good hockey night, from my perspective, but next game will be better...I hope). Wow, it sure has taken a very long time for this song to make it from being written to being a single ready for release in just a few days.

This is a very interesting arrangement of the song, a difference from the live version that reminds me a lot of the differences between the living-room Sea Of No Cares and the radio/CD SoNC, although we did not know about the original SoNC version when the radio/CD version was released. I think I understand the reason for the differences in Walk On The Moon - as well as why it was the label wanted to go with this song as Fortune's Favour's first single - but I think I'll take some time to listen and think a bit more before inching my way out on that shaky little limb.

But I can sure say now that I do like this version (I love the bells - classic Hawksley touch there - and the keyboards, and Alan's vocals are perfectly lovely from start to finish), and I think it's a version that will most likely appeal strongly to GBS fans in general. It could be an excellent transition into the rest of Fortune's Favour's songs, which is exactly what you'd hope for from the first single.

If Rocks Of Merasheen sounds on the CD anything like it did live, I think you're going to be very happy, Laura.

You think banning people from reading here would be a good idea? Really? Even if I wanted to do such a thing, I wouldn't know how to do it, and I don't have any desire to do it anyway.

I'll admit I don't understand why it is some people keep coming back here to read when it just seems to make them angry - it's not as if they can bitch about being "forced" to come across something they don't like on a message board...you have to make a deliberate choice to go to and then read someone's personal blog - but if they keep on coming back to read and keep on getting angry about what they find, I suppose they're somehow getting just what they came for in the first place. Their choice and not really my interest or concern. There are some things I don't feel much of a need to understand, even less to prevent.

Mari, I think most everyone is scared of something, a number of "some things" for most of us. There are times it makes perfect sense to be scared - it's a damn good survival skill in many circumstances. But, yes, trying to keep fears under reasonable control is a good goal, though sometimes a difficult goal to achieve. I've found that even the claustrophobia can be better (or worse) depending on how much of an attempt is made to keep a handle on it, even if it never really goes away completely.

But no matter what control efforts might be underway, there are definitely times when I need to go in search of a backbone. Not a bit of doubt about it.

That whole being touched/rights of refusal (or lack thereof) topic is still lingering in my mind; I think maybe I'll write more about it later when I've thought it through a bit more. But, yes, to disconnect touch from meaning can be a scary warning sign, while at the same time, it can also be a necessary means of coping with certain circumstances. Some paths are not at all easy to negotiate in this beautiful life.

I don't think many (if any) famous people would disagree about there being a high price to their fame. For those who keep on paying that high price, the cost is clearly worth it to them, even when the cost is equally clearly a dear one for them to pay.

We all pay in one way or another for what we choose as being most important to us at the cost of giving up other things we also want, but a bit less than we want that which is most important. We could probably all look at one another and think that the other guy pays too much for what he has chosen as his first love, while he could look back at us and think the very same thing.

I don't know about you, but I find it much easier to accept my own acts of giving up B, C, and D in order to have A than I find seeing those I love having to do the same thing. I want them to be able to have A, B, C, and D - and why not E and F while you're at it? I wish they could have it all. I know it is not realistic, but it's still what I want.

I'm getting very fond of Tosh too. I wonder when/if Marley is going to get out of the house and go on his own tear. If Tosh is a vodka pup, I wonder if that makes Marley a rum doggie? Or maybe a martini pooch?

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with that big video file. That's a good idea about making an audio-only file. I'll try to remember to make one of those and put it up in the next entry. Kick me and remind me if I forget.

Stephen, your comment posted on the prior entry and I wasn't sure if you meant for it to be here. I moved it - hope that's OK.

I think there's a good-sized group of folks, especially among the fellows, who have liked seeing Sean in that Joe Cool persona, the Bad Boy persona for some of the women too. And I'll bet Sean's been both Joe Cool and the Bad Boy often enough in his life. But the sweet guy who curls up on the couch with the pup and watches scifi shows and is glad to be home has always been there too; he's just showing a bit more now that he has before. I am really liking that guy, much more than Joe Cool or the Bad Boy. You're right about Sean's songs; there's always been a clear view of that sweet guy in Sean's songs.

The more I think about GBS/Oysterband in North America, the more faith I have. There was this one couple I was watching at Hugh's who are helping me with that faith. I think they were GBS fans - or I guess they could have just been Hugh's regulars checking out some new music on a Sunday night - they certainly were not Oysterband fans, not coming in the door at least. They didn't appear to know a single song, and at the start they seemed neutral, at best. But as the show went along, they got more and more and more into it.

And then when John Jones introduced GBS, they went wild, which is why I am hoping they really were GBS fans, because if they were, then there is certainly at least one Toronto couple more than ready for a joint GBS/Oysterband tour. It was so cool watching them both get swept up in brand new music, and then seeing them get so excited when the music they already knew (I am assuming) joined together with what was new.

God knows it's music that has a power worthy of such trust, from both bands. So even more now, I think it could quite possibly be something wonderful.

[Mary P.]

My father does that. He puts on Fox News and he hates their politics. Then he yells at the TV when he gets pissed off. He knows he'll get pissed off because it happens every time. It's got to be what he wants but I never figure out why

I like Sean's comments too. I always believed there was a nice guy inside of him. :-) Do you do Twittre or Facebook, Lynda?

I know what you mean that it's easier to give up your own stuff than see another do it. You know how much what you let go of meant and that you can deal but you worry it's hard for them and wish they didn't have to choose. It's the worse of all when its your kids doing it but it's hard with everyone close.

[Me]

"Their choice and not really my interest or concern. There are some things I don't feel much of a need to understand, even less to prevent."

Good words and about time. Can I hold you to this? Now that you're talking the talk are you ready to walk the walk?

The couple who bought the close seats from the ones sitting in them didn't do much different from all the people who buy from scalpers.

[lynda]

Hello, You. It's very kind the way you put it, but you can go ahead and be honest about it; I can take it: Way past time, is more like it. Yes, you can hold me to this. I'll do my best to stay on the straight and narrow path. Well, narrow at least.

Good point about the scalper comparison, but you know how I feel about them too. If there were some way for the artists to scalp their own high-demand tickets and pocket the proceeds, I'd be all for it. Since there isn't (yet), I'm not.

Not a lot of scalping goes on for most GBS shows, I don't think. I've seen scalpers outside of Massey Hall (and they did not appear to be doing very good business) and a few other venues, and I guess there's probably a market for it on Ebay since there seems to be a market for anything and everything on Ebay. I know there was a couple front and centre in Boston the last time around who told me they had paid $300 for that pair of tickets. So it does happen, just not usually right in the middle of supper.

Honestly, at first the whole thing only startled me, since I can't recall the last time I saw someone go down into a crowd and solicit a seat change that way. I was very surprised they found people from up front willing to move too...the tickets for the Oysterband show had been on sale for months and months (November, I think) and the way Hugh's works is first reserved, closest to the stage, so I figured those up front were the most likely to be diehard Oysterband fans, maybe even longtime fans who were seeing them for the first time, at least for the first time in many years.

That's what I assumed about the couple doing the moving too, that this was a case of even-more-diehard Oysterband fans making their way to where they wanted to be. But as the evening progressed, it became clear enough whose fans they were. The pair who switched seats didn't seem to be having a very good time, but I suppose they have only themselves to blame since they accepted the offer.

Still, if they had come there for Oysterband, I'd sure rather they'd been the ones up front, for the sake of the band. Coming to a place you haven't been to in 15 years, it probably feels pretty good to have as many people nearby as possible who know the songs and who sing along, which the displaced pair were indeed doing back in the new seats - but where the band couldn't see them doing it, of course.

I guess they were given enough to make it worth it to them. I really wanted to ask them how much they were paid but couldn't bring myself to do it. Manners trumped curiousity, dammit. But the whole experience has caused me to give my Molson tickets a speculative glance or two. One wonders just what it is the market will bear these days in GBS land.

Mary, my mother did the very same thing. She'd put on those smarmy interview shows that give frigging morons their 15 minutes of undeserved fame, and then she'd sit there yelling at them for being frigging morons. While we all made our own discreet (as well as discrete) exits.

For her, it seemed to be a way of venting anger to a safe place - she could call the people on TV all the bad names she wanted and insult them to high heaven, but no one would be hurt by it since they couldn't hear any of it - and once it was done with, she was fine and dandy. So in the long run, it worked pretty well, weird but effective, so long as we were able to make those exits for the duration.

But another fellow I know, the husband of a friend of mine, does it differently. He watches news programs that get him all upset too, but it stays with him after the show ends and he gets more and more upset as he holds onto it and feeds it and lets it grow in his mind. It's like he uses it as an excuse to stay angry, instead of as a release from anger. Maybe he is already really angry and he uses the stuff he watches as a transference of his anger with other parts of his life, a justification for being so generally pissed off with the world. I find that approach rather perturbing

I hope your Dad is more like my Mom was than how my friend's husband is. Either way, it's not for me. There are plenty of shows and people on TV I can't abide (Dr. Phil and Oprah, along with Fox News too, and Georgie Strombopopolalapalooza) and I scramble to change the channel whenever any of them come on it. They do tend to piss me off, and I just don't find being pissed off to be at all pleasurable.

I have been sure of Nice Guy Sean since the first few times I saw him at shows, even with all of his "I am going to stare you into discomfort" attitude during those shows. As Stephen said, a lot of the songwriter shows in the songs, and other people I knew were really nice kept winding up as his friends. Then I met Glenn and that sealed it -Sean was stuck with my thinking him a nice guy, though that does not mean I think he never acts like a shithead. I never said I don't think he's a human being. We all act like shitheads at some times.

No, no Twittering for me - that's time I just don't have, not to mention enforced succinctness I probably could not live up to. I do have a Facebook ID I set up so I could see some videos, but I forget about it for months at a time. I had a MySpace ID to see somebody's pictures and have not gone near that for years now. I have a hard enough time keeping up with my email, as most anyone who's ever emailed me knows. Email and this blog keep me busy enough online.

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be to see your children having to give up the things you wish they could have; it's something I think is likely to be harder on the parents than on the children themselves. I grew up that way, so I know my parents had to face that all the time. We were poor, not going-to-bed-hungry poor, but close enough not to want to ever wind up back there again. When I was little, I thought we had beans for supper a few nights every week just because they tasted so good. We used to joke that we were "upper lower class" during the good times and "middle lower class" during the hard times.

There was never any doubt about having to choose between this...and that, that, and that. "Having it all" never even occurred to me because it was simply impossible, not any part of my world. You made your choice for what you wanted the most and you gave up on the other things. It didn't occur to me to be unhappy about it till I got older because it just seemed that was how the world worked. My Mom grew up even poorer, so she accepted it well enough, but it always bothered my Dad something fierce, I guess because he felt like he should be able to do something to make it so those hard choices didn't have to be made.

I think I'd be more like my Dad was if I were in the same position with children of my own, especially when it comes to sacrificing the intangibles, the things that feed the heart and the soul and the mind, the things that inspire hope and evoke longing. I have a hard enough time seeing adults I love bartering off part of what their hearts desire in order to purchase the thing their heart desires a bit more.

I've got enough sense to realise they can't have it all, even though I wish with all my own heart they could, and that the reasonable hope is that they will find a way to have as much as they can while still holding onto that foremost desire, that they not give up one iota more of all the rest that can give them happiness and pleasure and satisfaction than is absolutely necessary. That's the best I know to hope for. Maybe they can't be perfect, but I'm never going to stop wanting them to be as alright as they can possibly be.

You're right, Mary. It is hard, child and adult.

[Laura]

Meh, we've bought scalped tickets but only when we couldn't get any others. Some shows sell out so fast it's the only way to see them. I'd like to see the murisicans get the money too. Now even Tikcetmaster scalps their own tickets so why not the musicians?

I'm guilty of the *I want it all* attitude. Middle class kid of middle class kids raising more middle class kids. It's flippin tough when reality hits square in the face.

L.