"It Must Have Been Amazing" Part Two - Answering The Question Posed in "Tonight" & Making A Hairy Sacrifice For Daffodil Place

It takes something pretty darn wonderful to get me to interrupt a Habs Stanley Cup playoff game. Or someone.

From the April 24th online edition of The Telegram :

Michael Martin meets Alan Doyle, of Great Big Sea, his inspiration for the Daffodil Place fundraiser he planned. Moments later Martin shaved his head. The inset photo shows Martin before and after his drastic cut. — Photo by Gary Hebbard/The Telegram

Michael Martin, 10, shaved his head after raising $2,000 in donations for Daffodil Place.
The Hazelwood Elementary School student was shocked to see his inspiration for the project — Great Big Sea member Alan Doyle — walk into the assembly at his school's gym and beamed when the musician thanked him for raising funds for Daffodil Place.

Martin had been growing his hair for two and a half years and hopes the locks will be made into a wig for a child with cancer.

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As for that question that gets asked in Tonight...the answer to that one - the answer coming from over here - is "Yes".  Most definitely and unequivocally, "Yes."  Same answer tomorrow night as well. 

(And, yes, I edited the article to correct the spelling of his name. Blogger's privilege once again.)

Now back to my game.  Which is suddenly coming off the rails, at the moment.

Comments

[Ellen]

That is a sweet picture. It makes me want to {{{{squeezy hug}}}} both those cute boys. :D

I finally saw that stupid fake Twitter imitation you. You should make them take it down, because the writing is so weak an attempt to copy you it's laughable. Hah, you know what they say about imitation being the most sincere form of flattery. Obsessed little fangirls, yes? ;)
Do you know who the culprit is?

Did you see Sean's latest tweet (LOL flatulence!) about Great Big Plans? I hope that means they come out my way again, maybe a really big tour this time or another DVD. Any word if they're doing the cruise again next year? I hope not. They have to be able to get better shows than that. Just look at the list of people who play those cruises. They aren't what anybody would call up and comers and what good is playing for the same group of people every show and cruise? I don't think being a fan cruise band reflects well on their credibility, including BNL. But it probably makes a ton of cash. GBS could do their own cruise, sail off with a few thousand of their most devoted fans on a ship called the Titanic. What a scary thought. :o

[JoAnn]

Hey there!

It didn't go off track for long though! Go Habs!

I see that we are being blessed with a show in London..are you thinking of a trip to the great southwest? Fall is so pretty in London!
The new single is lovely, lovely. I do like it live, but this one has a classy side to it
See you soon,

JoAnn

[Lynda]

JoAnn, if the rest of this round is like Game 1, I may not survive it. But if it is, what a great way to go...all the way to the Cup.

I noticed the Western Fair date. I skipped that venue last time around, so I very well might go this time, if all works out. The months of July-October are all going to be very up in the air for me this year for non-travel-related reasons, so I can't say for sure in advance which shows I will or won't be at yet, but I think I will try hard to make that one.

Very good adjective for the single-release version of WOTM: Classy. Yes, it is. I like that a lot.

Hugs all around for two very dear boys, Ellen. I think part of why I like seeing how Alan is with children is that the boy in him becomes even more clearly visible at such times, and I do love seeing that boy.

Yuck about obsessed fangirls, yuck, and no thanks. Yes, I know who did it. I will reiterate: Yuck.

No real clue about what Sean's referring to, beyond the already-known US and Canadian tours. I'm all for another DVD - they need to keep at it until somebody winds up showing how good they really are. Hasn't happened yet, in my opinion. There's got to be all the CD promo stuff too, or at least I hope so. It might be a drag to have to do, but a bigger drag is people not knowing when the CD comes out.

Hard to tell about doing another cruise. Schedule has to be an issue; there are the Canadian tour dates to consider, plus the ECMA break at the end of February too. It might depend on when they wanted to start out on the Canada dates. Their usual tactic is to head out into the fiercest part of winter.

If schedule cooperates, it probably would come down to how much money they can get for doing a cruise, that and maybe such concessions as indoor shows instead of outdoor or maybe cooler and more private cabins. But money would likely be what does or does not make it worth their while. Considering how much the passengers are paying for the cruise and all that goes with it, somebody is for sure making a boatload of money on the endeavour. I sure hope it's the artists.

You make a good point about playing to the same audience on a cruise, both show-to-show and cruise-to-cruise...it's an investment of a week of their time to play in front of how many people who saw them the last time around? That's assuming they did the BNL cruise, which does seem to be largely made up of the same people each time, though the same could pretty much be said for the Rock Boat too, I think.

I agree that there has been a credibility issue when it comes to artists who play cruises, but that might be changing. Mayer seems to think it's a good move and I sure want to believe that Carbon Leaf has better ahead for them than what lies behind them, though I'll grant the point that a lot of the bands who play cruise gigs do not seem to have careers on the upswing. BNL's situation is a bit different since this is their annual gig for their established fans, like how they used to do the same at their New Year's Eve concert; it isn' really about growth or making new fans.

Oh my. A GBS cruise? Kind of like a floating Great Big Picnic? Holy shit. I have a feeling Alan would be tempted just so he could get up on stage and jam with every other band on board - Speedo optional. Sean could do the grilled cheese thing, and Bob the trivia...Guitar Hero all the way for Alan, of course.

The advantage to doing it that way is they'd be in control. The disadvantage to doing it that way is almost every single person who came on that cruise with the intent to pursue would be after pursuing them and getting a piece of them for their very own.

On the BNL cruise, the only pursuit GBS members had to deal with came from among a small handful of those GBS fans who were able to get on the boat despite the last-minute announcement of GBS's presence, and maybe a smaller handful of those among the just-converted BNL fans. But a whole ship of GBS fans means a much, much larger contingent of pursuers, as well much higher expectations that they all put out in terms of those pounds of flesh, same as is true with what the BNL guys do on their own cruise. After all, just think about how much those with such expectations will have paid.

Actually, if it turns out they do choose to go on the next BNL cruise and it gets announced when the cruise goes up for sale next month, it very well might become at least half a GBS cruise anyway, given how many people are saying they will go if GBS is there, especially among those who couldn't go this last time because of late notice. That much, much larger contingent could very well be a foregone conclusion, regardless.

You do know that the Titanic went down near Newfoundland, don't you? Scary thought, indeed.

[Laura]

The Looooove Boooooaaaaat! Hahaha! More like Voyage Of The Damned. :P

That's a really cute pic. :)

I keep listening to the new single and I like it more all the time. I know I'll never hear it here on the radio but I hope it gets played a lot up north.

Hey did see the Oyster Band again? I was surprised Alan never wrote about the Toronto show. I thought he would right away.

L.

[Kath]

I wonder most of all what kind of shows they do this tour. Will it be the two set evening with GBS shows or the old style opening act and main set shows. Where too? In the reserved seats or back in the rinks? So far it looks like a lot of festivals this time too.

I looked on the Daffodill Place site and saw they are over halfway to their goal. Everybody who's worked on that should be proud of their efforts.

[B.]

I recently started going to GBS shows and plan on more. I've met some fans who go to a lot of shows and already heard a lot of stories about other fans (you included, meeting and hearing stories). What I need to know is how to tell who is who? Who's telling the truth and who's out to do things I don't want to be part of? Is there some set of guidelines that help to decide?

Thanks!

I like the new single but like the live one better.
B.

[Jean-Marie]

Hey Lynda,
So when my browser window opened to this page all I saw was the headline and the picture of Allan and the little boy. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that Allan had cut his hair. Now that would have been shocking!

[lynda]

I like this version of Walk On The Moon even more the more I listen to it too, Laura. I'm looking forward to hearing how they do it in the upcoming shows too. I'd kind of like to see Kris playing bells of some sort.

We have one radio station here that will play some GBS if you request it, but I am not sure they are going to play WOTM. It's quite a stretch from their usual play list. Frankly, I think there's a much better shot at getting them to play Oh Yeah or Straight To Hell when the CD comes out, or even Tonight.

I've been curious why it is I can't find anyone who's heard the single played yet. Maybe it hasn't gotten to the stations yet. Usually you hear something from somebody by now if it has. At least it's up for sale at the Canadian iTunes store now, though apparently not in the US store yet.

Yes, I made it to the Vancouver Oysterband show. It was excellent - I said some about it in comments on the prior entry and will be writing about it/putting up videos and photos as soon as I can get it done.

I'd hoped too that Alan might write about the Hugh's show, but I can't say I'm surprised that he hasn't. From what I saw and what I've heard, I'm not at all sure that went quite the way he had hoped it would, which is a frigging shame if true. There really are times when silence is the loudest thing ever heard.

I wish he'd write again, any topic of interest to him. I miss reading him, miss it very much.

Kath, my guess (and this is all it is) is that festivals tend to book earlier than single-artist gigs, and that is part of why you're seeing a lot of festival shows. Though I think July is going to stay pretty much as is, a few more "fill-in" dates will probably pop up between a couple of festival gigs in August. September is supposed to be the start of the "real tour" (if that's still the plan), so more than just festival stuff should show up eventually.

Maybe they'll go with the two-set format again, but that has got to be so exhausting for them I don't know if I want it to be that way or not. There's a lot to be said for having an opening band there to carry some of the responsibility for each and every show's success. If it turns out not to be one of their Forever Tours that grinds on and on, then two sets might be a great idea. It does give them so much room to do more songs, but along with that room goes a lot of work, every single night. If they do the two-set tour, I sure hope they book the gigs with enough rest in-between and not do the five and six nights straight insanity they did last time around.

Why not hope for the best of all possibilities - a tour that combines reserved-seat theatre shows, GA clubs, rinks and concert halls? Different kinds of crowds at each brings a variety that keeps it interesting for the people who matter the most - the fellows up on stage. Though I am sure there will be plenty of reserved-seat venues no matter what...they're needed for the whole Best Seats venture to function effectively and profitably.

Daffodil Place is going to do so much good for so many people, not only the people who wind up staying there, but all of their family members who want the best for them too. It has been so impressive the way the donations both large and small keep coming and coming in.

B., if you're asking me for that kind of guideline based on a perception that I've been successful in showing good judgement when it comes to fans, I'm going to have to say you really should ask elsewhere. But if you're asking in terms of "I want to learn from all of the stupid mistakes you made trying to do this same thing"...well. that's an approach I can agree with.

I think there's just two pieces of advice I'll give you, since all the rest you will have to discover on your own anyway. But these two pieces are the advice I wish somebody had given me at the outset, even though I very well might not have listened. One bit of advice is quite small and practical, the other is rather large and amorphous.

The small bit of advice relates directly to meeting and forming offline (so-called "Real Life") relationships with people you first meet up with online. If there is one critical thing I have learned about this process it is that the more consistent a person is face-to-face with who they act and talk like they are online, the better that is, even when they come across as a jerk both ways. I'll take an honest and consistent jerk over multiple personalities and false faces any day.

If the person you meet face-to-face does not seem a bit the way you thought they would be based on who they come across as being online...be wary. Be very wary. Sometimes it's still OK, but you really do need to figure out why that disparity exists in the first place.

The big piece of advice is the most important, so of course it is the most difficult too: Believe nothing other than the evidence of your own two eyes. Even then, you'll still be wrong at times, but the matter will be between you and yourself only, not something that comes from having been lied to or having gotten sucked into someone else's delusions.

Fandom, certainly GBS fandom, maybe most if not all fandom, often plays fast and loose with such dispensables as truth and reality. Lying is commonplace - lying about one's self, as well as about others...and about the objects of fandom too - and perturbingly pervasive. The will to believe lies is omnipresent, even in people you might be sure are not that way at all.

Fandom, particularly in its most ardent manifestations, is founded largely on fiction, fantasy, escapism - which is all fine and dandy for a lark so long as you keep a firm grip on what is real and what is not real. The best way to maintain that grip is to believe only what you witness yourself and hold onto a healthy and dogged skepticism about what anyone (and I do mean anyone) tells you about anybody or anything. I don't know any other way to deal with not only outright liars, but also with those who persistently lie to themselves, both about others and about themselves. If you're planning on going to a lot of shows and associating with a lot of the fans, you are going to be dealing with this.

I'd really love to just say "Trust your instincts". Maybe I could; maybe your instincts are way better than mine ever were and that would be all you need to do. But all I know is that while I have a really good track record of not misjudging fundamentally good people as being assholes or nutjobs, I have not done at all well when it comes to a penchant for initially believing that some utter assholes/nutjobs were good people (though I have always been able to see the shrews for being just that...not such a big accomplishment that, since the whole world usually sees it too, but you take pride wherever you can). I doubt there are many people in GBSLand who have mistakenly trusted those who should have never been trusted more than I have. So I am a bit gun-shy about that whole "trust your instincts" concept.

I came into this with that trust in instinct still intact, based on my experiences with widespread and diverse groups of people. But none of that experience did much good when it came to dealing with, comprehending, or making reliable judgements about fans. Though the same instincts have served well when it comes to the men who draw those fans.

Now I'm a lot more comfortable with "Believe only what you see" when it comes to the fans. These days, I base my opinion of fans on what kind of behaviours I personally see them undertaking, not on what anyone else has to say about a person.

If you witness people behaving in any ways that make you uncomfortable (actions or words), get away from them. Yes, that might mean it costs you a bit more to travel when not sharing expenses (the real foundation of so many best-GBS-buddy relationships) with someone whose behaviour has troubled you, but if you don't get away, you almost surely will get pulled into whatever it is they are doing. Once that happens, you will start to feel the need to defend and rationalise the behaviour, and before you know it, you are just one more self-deluded person telling lies to yourself and others, believing lies about yourself and others - recreating reality to suit your own needs. It's a path that God only knows how many others have walked.

And when do you find some good people who go about enjoying the shows and treating the men who put on those shows in a way that you're comfortable with, be really grateful. I sure am. Some of the very best people I have ever encountered in my life, some of the people I love the most, I have met in GBSLand - on and off the stage.

Best I can do, B. Remember, that's not the voice of success talking...it's the voice of mistake after mistake after mistake. You might want to take it all with a grain, maybe even a cup, of salt. Good luck and safe travels.

Jean-Marie, I have a very hard time imagining Alan agreeing to that fundraising method, though I'll bet he could bring in a huge pile of money if he ever did. I'm no fan of shaved heads, but if Alan ever did want to cut his hair, I think he would look really good. He's got a nice hairline, which only shows now when he pulls his hair back and when the wind blows it. I really like that hairline.

But at the end of the day, Alan is the Lion King, and the Lion King looks most right with his mane full and flowing while he is roaring and strutting his stuff.

[mary]

Bob, the radio station is playing a lot of old GBS which makes me guess they don't have it yet but are expecting it.

I bought WOTM off iTunes and I have to say I like it even more now after a few listens then I did when I first heard it. New CDs are so exciting. Now if Bono would stop saving the world and sing I could have a two pack.

Happy spring Lynda.

Mary

[Laura]

Lynda, if you weren't used to being around liars you should count yourself lucky for taking so long to find them! I don't remember a time from childhood when they weren't all around. But it's good advice you're giving and it works for more than fans. Whenever you believe the bad sht that people with agendas say about others you run the risk of being turned into an ass and winding up becoming just like them.

You'd think we'd get past that as grown ups but it seems to never happen, does it? I think hell is spending eternity back in ninth grade.

L.

[Laura]

Hey Lynda! Did you forget about this thread? :P

[lynda]

Yes, I did, and thank you for nudging me. I guess I blathered so much in the newer one that I lost track of this one.

Mary, it looks like you were right about the single coming out later. I think the radio stations didn't get access to it till the 29th.

A very happy spring to you too, Mary, and I hope you get your new U2 too.

Laura, I have been around people who lie quite a bit. I regularly covered local government and school districts when working on newspapers, and there are some people in those fields who would be shocked if you even implied life without lies was a possibility.

I'm no huge moral stickler when it comes to truth for the sake of truth, either. There are times when a lie is by far the kindest route to take, other times when it is certainly the most expedient option.

And of course I grew up in Southern California, the place where many people think nothing of recreating themselves whenever things are not going the way they want them to go. Change jobs and move five miles away and start all over again as a new person who never again runs into any of the people you used to hang with. Honesty has its own peculiar definition im such a place.

The bitchiness and cattiness and agendas behind lying about other people are universal enough, especially in any group dominated by women, even more so by women who are not all that thrilled with their own lot if life. As you said, eternity in Grade Nine. Some people already live in that Hell, sad to say.

Even the ugliest part of it - knowing something is not true but spreading the lie anyway for no other reason than malicious spite - was something I'd seen before too, among the same kind of people. As a general rule, I've found that the less pleased with their own lives people are, the more of a need they have to find some target to tear down. That need certainly transcends fandom, though you could argue that it is commom in fandom because a lot of discontented people wind up being attracted to something "outside" of their normal day-to-day lives.

The difference - as I see it, at least - is that while I have been around a whole bunch of liars (and done my own share of it too), nearly all of these liars have been completely self-aware about their own lying, even the ones who denied it to others. It wasn't until I got around fans that I came across a sizeable number of people who expend a great deal of energy keeping themselves away from the truth.

Lying to yourself just seems to me like such a self-defeating proposition; if you succeed at doing it, then is that supposed to be a good thing? Fooling yourself is a desirable accomplishment? I just cannot understand that way of thinking. And it takes so bloody much energy to keep that kind of a lie going. It's not like you're trying to put one over on somebody you are only occasionally around; self-lies require 24/7 upkeep.

What's been hardest for me to come to some comprehension of in regard to some fan behaviours is this matter of people lying to themselves, sometimes by blatantly re-creating reality by re-arranging and at times outright fabricating the facts of events - so much so that for the first year or so around GBS I wondered if I had somehow suddenly gone nuts since things kept getting re-told at such a huge variance from how I recalled the same event happening - and other times by self-persuasion into genuinely believing things about themselves and others that have absolutely no substantiating existence in objective reality, even when such belief requires a willful and continuing refusal to acknowledge any contrary substantiation.

Nothing I had ever experienced in my life had prepared me for this kind of lying. Not even Grade Nine. I know a big part of fandom is fantasy and make-believe. I grew up in the land of fantasy and make-believe and understand its power - but where I come from you were always expected to know the difference between what was pretend and what was real, even to the point where you got made fun of if you mistook something make-believe (like a fake rock at Disneyland) for something real. You could lie or pretend if you chose, but you always had to be aware of what you were doing. Not knowing the difference between real and not-real made you a self-deluded fool, at best.

Working diligently at keeping yourself convinced that pretend things are real isn't something that ever occurred to me. I've always been drawn instead to whatever seems the most real and the most genuine and honest. Which is how I wound up spellbound in front of my television just about seven years ago. Some truths are simply too wonderful to obscure with lies.

Eternity in Grade Nine. That really would be quite the hellish circle.