"What Are You Waiting For?" - Making The Same Choice Again, Catching Up With Comments, A Rationale For Linkage, A Second Career For Sean & Self-Evident Alan

Alan Doyle Sweet, Clearest Indication, Portsmouth

I've had a few complaints about how slowly the page is loading here because of all the photos, so I thought I'd go with a (mostly - just the one to start out with, for reasons self-evident) text-only entry this time around, maybe get caught up a bit in the doing.

***************************************************************************************************************************

First up is something I've been waiting and waiting to say, but what I've been waiting for - the second part of Great Big Sea's Tribute To Ryan's Fancy podcast I'm assuming must exist, given how abruptly their last podcast ended - still has not appeared, one more bit of foolishness in how poorly these otherwise-impressive podcasts have been handled. It's not clear where the fault lies for that handling, but there's really no excuse for 'casts that abruptly trail off into nothingness because someone has decided to divide them up into multiple segments so as to make for more of them. Equally foolish is this nonsense of parcelling the podcasts out over the months, trying to give the impression that the podcasts are current and continuing, that all of the latest ones weren't actually done in the first months of the year, encouraging the gullible to think that they instead are recent and then of course to wonder fruitlessly why it is Alan has not been present with the others in so many podcasts ostensibly done over all these months, when all that's actually going on is that the podcasts were done while Alan was out of town earlier in the year. Foolishness, and counter-productive foolishness to boot.

That's more than enough about what's wrong with the GBS podcasts because what's right about the GBS podcasts is far more interesting. More and more as I listen to them, especially as first Alan and then Bob have been occupied elsewhere during their making and most of all in the last one, I have come to realise just what an excellent host Sean is in these podcasts. He keeps conversation going and makes it seem effortless, and he makes the charm and wit appear equally effortless, all the more to encourage the other participants to talk and to enhance what it is they have to say. He gives the appearance of genuinely listening to what others are saying, instead of expecting others to listen to what he has to say, which sends an implicit message to the audience that they would do well to be listening to those others too. He is good at this, really good, so much so that it makes me wonder if Sean has ever thought about hosting his own radio show, perhaps television too, though I think Sean's strongest suit would be a radio show on a station that aimed its broadcast to adults who enjoyed keeping their brains engaged. If ever he might want a new career or a second career, and if this is something he enjoys doing (just because a person is really good at something doesn't always mean they enjoy doing that thing, though it is wonderful when expertise and pleasure do coincide), I'd think he would do exceptionally well along these lines.

It's hard to tell where they're at with the podcasts beyond it not looking as if there have been any genuinely recent ones to put up lately, thus the dribbling-out of the ones from earlier this year, which has led to all of the "Where's Alan?" questions. They may or may not have done or be planninng to do any new podcasts, perhaps depending on how effective they have decided the podcasts are at creating the impression of personal contact with fans without actually having to resort to such contact, as well as how effective the podcasts are at giving those fans at least a small glimpse of who they are as people (as well as deciding about the advisability of providing that glimpse). But regardless of any determinations of effectiveness or advisability - or the lack thereof - if Sean enjoys his role as the Great Big Podcast Host I hope he continues on with it, even if the others choose against doing  more podcasts themselves. As fascinating as the changes in dynamics have been depending on which band members are or are not present in any given podcast - especially Bob, who interacts quite differently when both Sean and Alan are there from how he is when it is just he and Sean (too bad there has not been a Bob and Alan podcast), though the differences in Alan's demeanour when he is by himself as opposed to when he is with the other two are also striking - it is still Sean's smooth skills as Host that have been a genuine highlight.

**************************************************************************************************************************

Something else I've been waiting way too long to do is put up a lot of links I have for downloads of videos from shows. This time the delay is purely a result of my own indecision. I haven't been sure how best to organise what I put up here, how much to include, what to exclude, and so on. When it comes to GBS, there is always way more of the hard than the easy, and live videos of songs are far from an exception to that rule.

For a long time, most live GBS video or audio was treated as contraband, shared privately and quietly, because "the guys don't like to be recorded live"; the reason most often given for that dislike being their not wanting music over which they had no "control" of the sound shared about indiscriminately, which most people translated to mean "We don't want our live fuck-ups posted all over the internet". An unstated but far more persuasive argument against live audio/video might be they wanted to limit supply of this kind of material to make the demand for it as high as possible, all which would potentially help with the sales of their own live DVDs/CDs. Then there is the "It distracts me when someone is videoing my performance" argument. That's an argument that some are going to take more seriously than others.

Regardless of the arguments, as more and more video-capable digital cameras were brought to shows, it was inevitable that the no-live-GBS-video "understanding" was going to be challenged. People already had been doing it for some time from a ways back in the crowd - with pretty shitty videos usually being the result - but a few years ago, it started happening right up in front, openly and for extended periods of time. Not too long after that, people began posting links to these videos on the official GBS message board.

I was very curious to see how GBS would handle this. I can understand how any attempt to stop video at shows when so many cameras are now capable of it is more or less futile; it was letting the video links stay up on their official site that seemed to me to be the most-mixed of messages if they really were opposed to this taking place at their shows, especially given that their web site already indulges in rampant censorship in a number of other respects, ranging from language to personal information to "not being positive enough". On the spectrum of Overbearing Assholiness, killing video links seemed small potatoes compared to permanently banning some poor, hapless woman for no other fault beyond her making some complaining people feel uncomfortable because they thought she was "weird".

But the links stayed, and new ones followed after. And that, to me, is a choice, much along the lines of their keeping the Official Tour Photo Album on that site being a choice, even if those choices are as much or even more about being able to have plenty of reasons to be pissed off than they are about either videos or photos. Still a choice, nevertheless. As long as those links are allowed per GBS, video is permissible per GBS (though some venues hold the high trump card for this trick, to be sure).

All of which sounds easier than it actually is, though I suppose it's easy enough for the person who does not give a shit about them. GBS usually make things quite simple for those people. It really only starts getting hard when you care. Which gets back to my reasons for taking so long to put up the links: Do I put them all up, including the ones that have some mistakes in them? Do I only put up the ones with no mistakes? Since multiple versions of the same song shows clearly enough that songs are not only different but sometimes better or worse on different nights, should I only put up the "best" version of each song - and if so, how the hell to determine what makes any version the best when some songs feature a great performance by one of them and an not-so-great performance by someone else? What about songs that are still being worked on and may wind up in a different form?

It wasn't until quite recently that I simply turned it back around and asked myself why I wanted to put up the video links in the first place. What was the purpose and what was the goal? That's when I belatedly realised that the real point of it all is that I believe what these men accomplish - on the great nights and on the difficult nights alike - is something that is not only admirable and impressive, but also something that seems to so seldom get anywhere near as much respect and credit as it merits. There are so many people who have never seen them live, some who will never see them live, and even among those who have seen them and seen them frequently, there is still such a wealth and depth and richness of variety to what they accomplish and create on stage - and do I even need to say that this is especially true of what Alan accomplishes and creates on stage after stage after stage? - that even with as much as I've seen them, that wealth and depth and variety of accomplishments can still inspire wonder and stretch the limits of possibility. If even a small amount of that wonder and possibility shows up in the videos (photos too, for that matter), that's good enough for me.

Which still leaves the issue of organisation, never my strong suit. I think I am going to try to keep videos from shows together, for the sake of context, though I doubt I'll keep the shows in chronological order in the listing. That's likely more organisation that I'm capable of. Chances are, I'll begin with the shows and/or the videos I liked the best.  Hello, Hammerstein. The links should start popping up in a day or so. There are also going to be some video links for a few other artists I'll be putting up, probably with an equal lack of organisation.

**************************************************************************************************************************

Speaking of a lack of organisation, I suck yet again at posting comments made here. And once again, I have lost some of them. It seems that if I delay too long in approving them, they have a tendency of disappearing into parts unknown since I know I saw a few earlier that are now no longer around. Mea culpa for dallying. I will never figure out how some people manage to be so diligent with blogs/journals, making entries every day, responding to comments right as they are made; I am envious of their efficiency and dedication. I doubt I'll ever approach that level of efficiency and know I'll never come near that amount of dedication, but I can certainly try to be a bit better at both; God knows there is plenty of room for improvement.

I'll try to respond briefly to a few comments I know I saw but have since lost, and cover the other recent ones here as well. One now-disappeared comment goes way back, to my own shame. For David S., who posted a comment longer ago than I want to admit to, thank you so much for what you said about the videos of Alan helping you to figure out how he plays different songs. It never occurred to me that they would be helpful that way, my not being at all instrumentally proficient, and I appreciate finding that out. Where I usually wind up at shows when I have a choice probably is a very good place to see Alan's guitar work; I know I always love to watch him play (it's a lot of why I like to be in that position in the first place) but never really thought about a video giving technical assistance to another guitarist. Thank you and I am so very sorry it has taken me this long to tell you how much I liked what you said.

To a couple of people who asked about specific upcoming shows: Yes to Edmonton, but a reluctant No to Fort Mac. I don't know how true it is, but I've been warned that Fort Mac isn't the safest of places to be wandering about by myself, especially late at night. Even though I am not sure what "not safe" means from a grew-up-in-Los-Angeles perspective, still, skipping that one seems like a sensible enough "ordeal avoidance" measure, though now I really do wonder what Fort Mac is like now compared to what I saw in 2002. I'd still like to go back there, though maybe not all by myself. Calgary is also a No, not so much because of my Something Bad Always Happens In Calgary dread but because it's one heck of a long haul from Calgary to the Seattle ZooTunes show the next day and no way can I miss that one. As for August, Yes to the first three shows (Ridgefield, Hyannis, and Lowell) but not the second two (Freeport and Northampton - sorry to be missing someone very special at the latter). I'm flying up to St. John's on the 11th and from there to London on the 12th, so those last two shows would be kind of hard to get to. Oh yes, the Grey Cup too, show and game. I'm really looking forward to that.

A couple of people sounded pretty pissed off about the Canada Day/Memorial Day comments, which I suppose can't be avoided. But I really don't want a big political debate going on here, so maybe agreeing to disagree might be the wisest course to take. For the person who accused me of "Canada bashing," all I can say is that I am far more critical of (lately, better to say "appalled by") my own country than of Canada, and, yes, there is ample occasion to find faults with Newfoundland herself as well. You can't truly love anyone or anything - persons or countries - until you acknowledge and accept their faults along with their virtues.

Something I've noticed about recent comments is how many people begin with "I don't want this posted, but..." I know part of this with a few is not wanting some people to know they are "fraternising" with me for fear of incurring wrath, but with others it seems more a part of what has become an increasingly clandestine "normal" mode of communication in the GBS fan world. Understandably so, with all of the official insistence that so many things not be discussed publicly, that they be "taken to PM" instead, not to mention the comparatively unusual level of secrecy insisted upon by some band members. Even among the most famous and the most reclusive (as well as those with the most predatory fans), there is usually some public acknowledgement/discussion of such basic circumstances as marital and parental status; for all that it's "accepted" that GBS collectively does not like this (though Alan does things rather differently), that acceptance does not necessarily mean this is a normal way of handling sucb matters or that it will necessarily lead to healthy - or sometimes even sane - ramifications.

I've known some who've argued rather persuasively that having an abnormal attitude toward fans tends to attract abnormal fans  - at the very least to discourage and drive away some of the normal ones, since one aspect of being normal is that it's harder to easily "accept" the abnormal - though it does tend toward being another one of those "chicken and egg" sort of matters. Whatever the causes in whichever measure, much of the interaction does take place privately these days - kind of like an iceberg with most of it being beneath the surface - either by those PMs or emails or IM conversations, and I suppose "don't post this" comments are yet one more manifestation of that general reluctance to speak publicly about much of anything of substance.

Last few catch-up comments: Al Stewart plays up and down the West Coast often enough; he was here in Seattle not too long ago. Very intelligent and articulate fellow and quite a student of history. I do indeed agree that Russell Crowe is "uncool" in much the same way as Alan is; they both are willing to show how much they care about what they are doing on stage, and it's a big part of why I wound up thinking so highly of Russell as a performer, also of why Russell and Alan make for such a dynamic collaboration. And for those who admired Alan in all of his splendor and loveliness in the preceding entries...I agree wholeheartedly.

Now I think I am caught up and will try my best to stay that way.

***************************************************************************************************************************

There is still one last thing I have been putting off, both putting off doing it and putting off writing about it here. Which means, of course, that it's the hardest one of all.

A few nights ago I went to see the show of a band I have been avoiding for nearly two years, a band whose music I have always enjoyed and whose members I have always liked, especially the front man, who I thought was a really sweet guy. Up until a few years ago, that is, when a friend came to me and told me this sweet-guy front man had been casually gossiping about me with a group of fans after a show, bad enough behaviour all on its own. What made that bad behaviour worse was that what he said about me to those fans was an absolute and utter lie, the kind of lie that does irreparable damage to a person's reputation. Even though this fellow barely knows me, I had a good enough idea from what source his "information" - that absolute and utter lie - had come.

For nearly two years, I've thought very badly of this man, to put it mildly, and I've diligently avoided his band's shows. But recently I've been thinking along the lines of ceasing to care about what is not important to better hold onto what is, and it seemed past time for me to be letting go of my anger and hurt over this incident. So I decided to go to this show, thinking that would be all it would take to put an end to the matter. I overestimated myself a bit, at least at first. My first instincts were not the kindest: I kept rooting for his guitar cord to trip him and land him on his ass, and at one point there was a fleeting urge to make a cry of "You suck!" come from somewhere out of the crowd.

But the cord did not trip him and I did not heckle him. Instead, I sat there quietly and watched him work - and it may have helped that he and his band were having a shitty night (They had apparently violated the crucial "Smoke your pot after the show, not before the show" rule) since it's hard not to feel some pity even for little gossipy bastards on such nights - and made myself see him as a person whose only real offences were petty gossiping with fans and bad judgement when it comes to who he thinks is a trustworthy source of information. The latter is a mistake nearly all of us make at some point in our lives; the former is a mistake more unprofessional and contemptible than anything else, an offence far more venial than cardinal. He repeated a lie told to him by someone he does know about someone he does not know. For all I know, the lie told to him could be a lie that was told to the person he trusted. Lies work that way. It still comes back to people believing what they want to believe, but people work that way too.

I'd love to say that by the end of the show, all was well and I had shaken the dust of this person off my sandals forever. Not so much. I'm a bit slow at times. But sometimes slow and steady actually does win the race. After thinking about it for a few more days, and after squarely facing up to it being my own choice to be or not to be done with this, I chose. Once again, I made the same choice I've made before. The same choice I'll be making again in the future, though perhaps next time I won't wait quite so long to make it.

Better late than never, to be sure. But best of all is now rather than later.

Comments

[Stephen]

Want to run it by me again why I shouldn't think this outcome sucks? Why I'm not supposed to wish you'd kicked the guy in the shins instead? Oh yeah you're being mature. I guess I should follow suit.

[Laura]

Sean could be a great radio host! He could have a show that was about issues and music. That would be fantastic. He'd be good with a kids show too, with lots of goofy voices.

The pic of Alan is splendid. Some people were born to be in spotlights and Alan's one of 'em.

Gossip boy sounds like a first class loser.

L.

[Alex]

I wouldn't want my sister or GF walking around by herself at night in Fort Mac. I don't like being there much myself. There's some hard cases there now. Best you stick with Edmonton, Lynda. Let me know if you change your mind about the FF.

Alex

[C.J.]

What a pretty Alan! He looks good in the blue lijhts.

Better safe than sorry with Ft McMurray, just make up for missed shows by having a wonderful time in Europe! More pretty Alans would be great too. Do you know why they don't have Denmark on the tour schedule? Haven't the tickets gone on sale already?

Didn't you get any comments about Bob's soundtrack blog and your answer? I noticed he didn't get hardly any comments over there either. I think the description of Helmet Head scared the shit out of all the happy shiney people.

Carole

[Lynda.]

Stephen, I can understand why you'd think that. Best answer I can give is that I'm happy about my choices and this is me being who I am, as you well know. Not sure if that makes me mature or not, only that I've got no regrets. But thanks for caring - I do appreciate the concern.

Laura, you're right about a children's show too. I never thought of that. Sean does some great voices, and I bet he'd get a kick out of that too.

Alan and the spotlight were made for each other, in any and all colours. I hope he always has exactly the amount of spotlight he wants for his entire life.

Alex, thanks for the backing-up info about Fort Mac. I guess I'll have to wait for a travelling partner before I go there again. Calgary is almost certainly a no this time around, but I think I will brave it there for next year's Junos. No way can Alan miss two Juno Cups in a row, or at least so I hope. And if Sexsmith can show up in two consecutive Juno Songwriters' Circles, then there's got to be hope for Alan to be in another one after skipping a year. I'll hope even more for that.

For this, I will face up to my Fear Of Calgary in a heartbeat. Or maybe I'll go to GBS's Calgary show this time on the next tour. Either way, I am sure I'll be there soon enough.

A very pretty Alan indeed, Carole, inside as well as outside. For sure I'll get pictures in Europe, and no I don't know why Tonder is not up on the GBS schedule. Tickets have been on sale for a week or two.

I've noticed their official site is a bit lackadaisical when it comes to tickets for which there will be no presale (and thus no collection of presale fees), but you'd think Tonder would be up by now, wouldn't you? Though maybe some last bit of contract signing has not yet been finished - an undotted 'i' or uncrossed 't' still out there, perhaps.

I checked out the comments on Bob's last journal entry and they do seem a bit muted, but there wasn't much said about his prior entry either. No, not a word here in response to the same issue. I can see how his description of Helmethead might cause some consternation among the "GBS Exists For The Sole Purpose Of Being My Happy Place" contingent. Good. Can't think of many groups who are more richly deserving of a hefty dose of consternation. On a regular basis, if at all possible.

[Realist]

When you look back at how Great Big Sea handled their board, can you honestly blame anyone who goes along with the dumb chatter and games on the OKP instead of talking about anything more substantial? Can you?!?

Thanks for the vids.

[lynda]

You're welcome for the videos. There are a lot more to come, eventually.

And, no, I can't blame anyone, partly because blaming rarely accomplishes anything constructive and partly because...well, partly because I'd have to be way more stunned than I am not to get your point.

[mary]

To let go of a jerks behavior Lynda you could try this:

Think about not caring anymore about what someone else has done.

Feel how good that will feel.

Imagine actually releasing those feelings. See them disappear.

When it comes to mind simple push it away know that those feelings are gone.

I personally also try to stay out of the OKP because I find it a little down no matter what I am trying to release.

Have a good one, I hope you enjoy all the summer music coming your way.

Mary

[lynda]

Hey Mary - Yes, I know a lot of people who are firm believers in the effectiveness of that kind of visualisation process, so there's got to be something to it. Might take a bit more mental discipline than some of us presently have, though.

I think what got to me with this guy was twofold: First, I really did think he was a sweet man. It's one thing when a known jerk says shitty things (and there was more to this conversation that was ugly and unpleasant than just the lie-repeating about me...it was pretty thoroughly assholish overall) because that's expected. But if you thought someone was nice and they turn out to be a jerk, it's a bit harder to take.

But that's only part of it. I think the biggest part for me was the simple fact that he doesn't know me from Adam. Again, it's one thing to me if someone who actually knows me decides they don't like me or even that they can't stand me. Even if those feelings wind up being centred around a lie, there is still a personal connection, albeit a negative one.

But to say shitty things about someone you do not even know (I've talked to this man casually maybe 3 or 4 times for minutes at a time, that's it), someone who by definition can't have ever done a thing to you, not even irk you or piss you off, is something that makes my opinion of him plummet. It's the same as how I feel when people take pleasure in saying shitty things about celebrities they don't and will never know. That's the kind of gossip I think serves as an outlet for all the shit the gossiper carries inside himself or herself, since it sure as hell has no other connection to their own lives.

Whch is a wordy way of saying I think him a petty little bastard, I suppose. Doing his gossiping with fans just makes him a stupid petty little bastard.

Still like the band's music though. No way I let the twerp take that away. Next time I see them, I'm pretty sure I won't be hoping he trips over his guitar cord.

I still skim the OKP because I still get worthwhile info there, especially in regard to travel. No call to go through the game threads or the threads about surgical procedures or recipes or what makes people happy, so it makes for a quick enough read. And I always check the main site for a new journal entry from Alan, from Bob too.

I think for the most part, GBS (collectively) has what it wants from the OKP. It's banal, and nobody is pissed. The people who are the type to get pissed yelled and screamed (in all of their multiple identities, in some cases) to have things changed. And now that things are changed, the people who don't like how it is now aren't the type to yell and scream and make up second and third and fourth voices to get their points across...instead, they are far more likely to do what you and others do, Mary, and walk away from it, or do what I do - shrug about it and skim for whatever of value I can find there.

Peace at any price isn't usually much fun. But it sure makes the OKP safe and easy to ignore, doesn't it?

Thanks for the good wishes for music this summer. I'm looking forward to all of it, especially Europe. I love seeing GBS in new places, in front of new people. Then again, I love seeing them most everywhere else too.

And I get to see the Rosetta Stone and Hadrian's Wall and Stonehenge. That's almost too cool to believe yet. My Mom talked about wanting to see the Rosetta Stone since I was about 5, back when it seemed as unlikely as our being able to go to the moon. Or to walk on it.

You have a good summer too, Mary, the little ones (not so little in Beth's case) too.

[mary]

I know what you mean it is always easy too ignore a jerk. That is why I found it easy to walk away from the OKP.

I still check the GBS home page for journals as well. I like the photos on the front page sometimes as well.

The little ones leave for camp tomorrow so Beth the not so little and I are going to have some fun.

Enjoy Europe it will be a blast I am sure and I hope you get some awesome photos.

Mary