"The Hard And The Easy, We Takes As It Comes"

Toronto Bus Terminal
Someone I care about died yesterday morning. He was a sweet man, surrogate father to the otherwise-orphaned, kind and generous and always ready with a word of encouragement for others, even all the way up to the end, when he was weary of pain and telling us all that he was ready to let go. I'm glad for his sake that he got some small measure of control at the very end of his life. For my own sake, from the moment I got the call on my cell phone as the bus rolled through Niagara Falls on its way to Buffalo, the sun was shining a little less brightly. I am going to miss that sweet man, along with all the others who are missed. I will never cease to wonder why it is so many people are careless with those they love and with those who love them, given how precious loving and being loved is, and how impermanent and fleeting it can be.

It was a hard, long day today, from St. John's to Buffalo, and there is still a ways to go before the "day" is done. I nearly called my pie-loving friend to tell her I was skipping Burlington and would meet her in Northampton, but then I thought about that notion of those precious people who merit being treated with all due care. And now I'm on the road to Burlington, hoping for a bit less of the hard, a bit more of the easy, the rest of the way.

Not like I don't have some control over it all. Adding to the hard of today was my own mistake, the worst of all kind of mistake to make because it made something harder for one of those same precious ones, with nothing left for me to do but hang my head in chastened shame and hope to do better next time. Add in what was one of the most unpleasant border crossings ever - no clue what was in the minds of some of those Buffalo border guards, but they seemed intent on demeaning and deriding the "noncitizens" to the point of reducing a few to tears, not at all easy to see your country's officers behaving that way - and it all got even harder. Someone needs to tell Alan that while he could be King Of Anything - he certainly has my vote as King of Anything - to even joke about becoming President of how things here are now is a joke that's hard to laugh at, at least on a day like today.  He is far too precious to waste in that job.

But there is always at least some of the easy that comes along with the hard. My easy today was the sweet bell captain at a hotel near the venue (no names, since I don't want him to get in trouble), who kept my bags for free when my plan to leave those bags in a bus locker during the show went awry when I discovered Buffalo's Greyhound bus lockers no longer exist in this "too close to that nefarious Canadian border" post-911 world. He even offered to shuttle me up to the venue. His kindness made a hard day a little easier.

And then there was the show itself. No, GBS did not give me a "happy fix" that took my mind off  all my troubles. I walked out of the Center or The Arts feeling tired and sad, pretty much the same as I had felt walking in. But I did get to hear music I enjoy performed by men I admire, some of that performing being done by someone I think is the best at all he does on any given night, and that is always easy to take as it comes.

I'm not sure what to say about that show itself. I imagine many of those there will say it was a great show. It was a very good crowd, to be sure. I may have been hurting too badly to have much of an objective perspective - God knows my self-confessed personal affections make me never very objective in the first place - but to me, it looked like those on stage worked very hard to make it all look easy, especially that fellow who is a the core of my lack of objectivity.

I can come back and write more later, but for now, my next bus is due. Buffalo to Burlington via TO and Montreal...that is more the "odd" than it is the "hard". A quick apology to those who asked  for a video of Alan's WIAK. I tried, but I screwed it up. I'm very sorry for that.

Montreal Bus Terminal
Still on the way to Burlington, with just a few minutes taken durig my layover here to say one thing I should have already said in TO. Once it is said, the rest of my layover will be spent taking a walk in Montreal on a beautiful spring day. Even with the sun shining a bit less brightly, Montreal is still lovely enough today to put a smile on my face, even a lump in my throat. I will resist the ever-present urge to go stand by the Quebec City departure door. I am going to Burlington...the long way 'round. No doubt about my destination. That choice wasn't so hard to make.

What I neglected to say back in TO was that what was so clear last night in Buffalo is that even though he has to still be tired from all that has gone before in the past months, and even though he has to know - better than anyone else could possibly know - what a brutal final tour leg he has just begun (six straight shows, one day off, six more shows straight, one day off, then the final three shows), Alan's desire to be back out there on those stages, his drive and his need to play and to perform, is what makes him the single most compelling artist to be found - as well as to be admired and respected - out on any of those stages; that desire, drive, and need of his are, in my opinion, fundamental to GBS's power as a live band. For all of the jokes about "what would a band be without a Bob," my own spin on that would be that any band that has an Alan will also have passion and purpose.

Though I must admit I am also growing very fond of the sweet stability being provided these days by the fellow to Alan's left, the bouncy man with the charming little smile who looks more and more as if he is growing happier with the course of life each day.

Time for a springtime walk in Montreal, though I still miss the St. John's version of spring. Kind of.

Comments

[JoAnn]

I'm so sorry to hear to your day. Starting off rough, ending with a walk through Montreal and all the beauty it has to behold. Strange place this earth...so many changes in so little time. Strength Lynda..hope for better days will see you through. Thanks again for the Fergus peice. It made me rewatch the DVD that came with the CD..quite the troop they make, quite the troop. Stay safe, stay on the road..see in the great southwest.

JoAnn